Murphy’s Law.

Most of us are familiar with the premise of Murphy’s Law :

If there are two possible outcomes for a given set of circumstances, the most inconvenient one will prevail.

Or expressed another way :

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong.

Arguably, at the moment of the Murphy Events (or “Life”, as I like to call it) there is a place for a little bit of profanity. For example, that moment at the petrol pump when you realise your wallet is still sat on your bedside table or when you drop your freshly buttered toast onto the floor, sticky side down of course. I believe that should be considered fair use.

According to the great philosopher, @theveryangrymaker on Instagram, the continued occurrence of Murphy Events is referred to as “Fuckery”. Furthermore, he advises that this process is eternal and none of us are immune to its power – as in “The Fuckery never ends”

In tribute to this sage fellow I present the following:

The Fuckery affects us all,
From the very short, to the hugely tall.
As surely as the sun will rise
Calamity will be your prize.
For The Fuckery Never Ends.

When working on your faithful cart
Swearing while you drop the part
A certainty that life will teach:
It always falls just out of reach.
‘Cos The Fuckery Never Ends.

Five minutes past the close of store
Is just the time that you’ll need more
Of just that thing you cannot find
To finish up your daily grind.
Yup, The Fuckery Never Ends.

The toast will fall upon its face
Your keys gone from the normal place
The PC that will update when
Time to wait is not your friend.
So, The Fuckery Never Ends

And so the list goes on and on
Maybe I should write a song?
Certain as this all must seem
I live in hope, I have a dream
That The Fuckery will finally end

A life of graft and drudge and toil
Takes a toll on our mortal coil
And as we take that final breath,
Take our very last steps to death.
That, my friends, is when at last
The Fuckery forever ends.